CONGRATULATIONS!  IT'S A...

 

My parents were both good looking people.  My mom used to model for Mattel as a Barbie and my dad was a brown haired, brown eyed electrician.  He also had a perm, but I guess that was popular in the 70's.

 

They met at Knott's Berry Farm in Anaheim, CA in their mid-teens.  Knott's Berry Farm is an amusement park similar to Disneyland, only not as big.  Both of my parents worked there.  My dad operated the log ride and my mom worked at the hotdog stand.

 

My dad was a typical 70's high school boy - car building, drag racing, prank pulling pain in the ass.  My mom, typical highschool girl - cheerleader, popular, prom queen type.  They were two highschool sweethearts that would later become husband and wife.

 

A few years into their marriage, they decided it was time to bring me into this world.  My parents have always been humble people and were never vain, so you would never hear them say they were good looking people - but they were.  I can only imagine that all their friends and family were expecting this picture perfect child to come from them.  Little did they know how wrong they actually were.

 

"Congratulations...." says the doctor as he holds me up to show the proud new parents.

 

"It's a...." the doctor was rudely interrupted by my father.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK...."  Ahhh...the very first words I will ever hear.  "...Is wrong with her face?" my proud papa continued.

 

I can only imagine the look on the hospital staffs face, not to mention my mom's, when my dad so warmly welcomed me into this world.  

 

Anytime I sit and contemplate my life, and/or any struggles I've had to endure, and wonder why, I immediately flash back to this story and no longer wonder.  I should've known that lovely, red-carpet rollout kind of welcome would be the starting point, and a pretty good indication, as to how the rest of my life was going to play out.  LIke a spell cast upon me that very instant, so began the curse.

 

Bell's Palsy: a condition that causes temporary facial paralysis.  The good news is that day the doctors learned something new about this condition: not only does it cause facial paralysis, but tourette's in parents.

 

I came into this world looking like I had a stroke.

 

Everytime I tell this story, I can see my dad telling it.  Unfortunately, I've had to hear him tell it more times than I care to admit.

 

He would put his right hand up towards his face, in a parallel type position, as if to divide his face in two equal halves vertically.

 

"Only half of her fuckin face worked..." he would tell everyone with his hand still dividing his face.  "...only half of her face cried."

 

With his hand still in place, he would mock my birth by making only half of his face laugh.

 

Luckily for him, and obviously for me as well, the temporary paralysis ended just a few minutes later.

 

Compton, CA is where this magical day took place.  I'm (now) a 5'2" blonde hair, brown eyed white chick.  Growing up, I always wondered how I ended up being born in Compton.  I kind of just figured that my parents were on their way somewhere when my mom's water broke...so they went to the nearest hospital.  I mean why else would they be in Compton?

 

I even thought that my parents gave me the middle name they did just to kind of fit in, or some sort of weird Compton/hospital peer pressure.  My entire family has cute, similiar names - Keri Lynn, Shari Lynn, Jacquelin...and then there's me...Casey Dione.  I mean no way was my name planned like that.  Wrong!  It was.  

 

Not only was the name planned, but the birthing location as well.  Compton, fine...I can get that.  But Dione?  What in the actual fuck were my parents thinking?

 

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